Santa Visits a Just-Moved Newcomer in South Florida

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, just the Mac and the mouse,
When all of a sudden a wail filled the air
As the burglar alarm detected a hair.

I ran to the keypad, pushed down on the code
Hoping neighborly tempers would not explode.
The phone rang and I told the guard I was fine
When over the rooftop came a great whine,

Then four beeps, a grunt, a groan and a sigh
And a deep voice bellowing down from on high:
"Things have come to a pretty pass, I have to say,
When the elves install car alarms right on my sleigh!"

He was dressed for South Florida, wearing shorts and a tee,
With the logo of Lauderdale-down-by-the-sea.

Brakes squealed as a sleigh wheel got caught in the gutter
And Rudolph's hoof smashed up a hurricane shutter.

"I'm glad you dropped in," I wanted to say,
But thoughts of a homeowners policy got in the way.

They don't cover sleigh wheels, or santas, or deer,
So I'd soon be in debt for for this holiday cheer.

"Have a soft drink?" I offered, to get him out faster,
But at moochng this guy was clearly the master.
"Soda? For children! Just give me a brew.
Molsons preferred, but Corona will do."

"Gee, Santa," I said, as I eyed his big sack,
"I still have twelve boxes left to unpack.
Instead of a gift this year, maybe your elves
Could help me assemble my lamps and my shelves?
And move this big table and hang all those prints --"

But all of a sudden I saw Santa wince.
"I have a long drive," he said with a frown,
"And the elves union says they have to put down
Their tools after midnight, or I travel alone
And call for repairs on my cellular phone.
A mechanic on holidays? I don't do magic
And delaying these gifts to good kids would be tragic."

A last sip of beer, a quick wave of the hand
And Santa was headed away from my land.

The sleigh was still on the roof, so I cried,
"Take special care as you climb up the side!
Those screens are secure, and they have little wires
To sound an alarm against burglars and fires --"

Too late! A boot crashed and the sirens began
And 'twas back to the keypad before they could scan
My sensors again, for twice in one night
Would give any alarm system cause for a fright.

I'll be spared Santa's gifts when I wake Christmas morning
So I'll just take some time to post a new warning:
"No trespassing: Elves and santas beware!
All visitors must offer to do home repair!"

For serious advice about moving, download Making the Big Move.

About The Author

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com.

"Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com

Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294

There is something emotionally charged about the buying and selling of New York high-end real estate. How else to explain the juggernaut of reality TV shows about high-end brokers?

After 30 years of marriage, Sharon and Michael Newman decided it was finally time to move from the Catskills to New York City.

The house, designed by the architect Eric Fisher, looms over the street like a big industrial arm.

A town house in Dallas, a midcentury modern in Rhode Island and a Tudor in Denver.

For a century, Roosevelt Island housed a grim penitentiary. It was demolished in the 1930s.

More borrowers are opting for fixed-rate loans with terms other than the standard 30 or 15 years, especially when it comes to refinancings.

Two more glass skyscrapers are added to a group of towers on the waterfront of Long Island City.

Insurance coverage for a co-op unit; when a tenant is ‘blacklisted’; a co-op is smaller than estimated.

The market for $500,000-to-$600,000 houses in Westchester has become especially active.

A shaky real estate market means more sellers are providing buyer concessions, from gift cards to help with paying property taxes.

Houses of worship are adaptable to residential and other uses as congregations dwindle.

Nearly two million Americans could benefit from mortgage relief from the nation’s biggest banks, as part of a broad government settlement to be announced on Thursday.

A cold war-era satellite relay station is for sale in California after a Silicon Valley mogul gave up on plans to turn it into a weekend home.

How can I make my front porch more appealing to buyers?

Court hearings meant to protect New York homeowners from foreclosure are hopelessly slowed by endless paperwork and requests for additional information.

The Bay Area and Silicon Valley expect the windfall from the Facebook stock offering to make their in-demand region even hotter.

A Ditmas Park co-op, Upper East Side co-op and an Upper West Side condo.

A 10-year-old house with six bedrooms in Montvale, N.J., and a renovated four-bedroom in Bronxville, N.Y.

Prices in some parts of the country are still off by as much as 25 percent from their 2007 peak.

Trinity Church is the largest landlord in Hudson Square and is part of the effort to rezone the area to residential from manufacturing.

Rising oil prices and a boom in shale exploration are leading companies to add office space in the Houston area, most notably Exxon Mobil.

Ms. de França is the president and chief executive of Douglas Elliman Development Marketing, which focuses on new residential developments.

Meet the real estate broker’s interns: an ambitious group willing to do anything, earn nothing and wake up early on a Sunday to fluff the couch cushions at open houses.

Gray Burton lives in a 250-square-foot space he furnished with antiques he’s been collecting for years.

A photogenic Westchester suburb with high-profile residents is also known for its art museum and a performing arts center.

Wealthy investors are wiring millions of dollars to New York to snatch up a piece of 157 West 57th Street - what will be New York City's tallest residential building, with 90 floors overlooking Central Park.

An apartment at the Trump International Hotel and Tower, opposite Central Park, was bought anonymously through a limited liability company.

Homes in Dallas, Rhode Island and Denver.

A Ditmas Park co-op, Upper East Side co-op and an Upper West Side condo.

A 10-year-old house with six bedrooms in Montvale, N.J., and a renovated four-bedroom in Bronxville, N.Y.

Compare the cost of renting and buying equivalent homes.

For recently divorced men, a new breed of decorators offers help navigating a strange new world.

Plants that light up the winter garden can be found at Broken Arrow Nursery in Connecticut, which has long been a favorite of gardening geeks.

A sister in need drew the painter Beverly McIver back home to North Carolina, unaware that a new beginning was in store for both of them.

A jewelry designer finds striking new objects for storage.

Timothy Sakamoto and Jochen Repolust are part of the small but growing niche making mobile apps focused on specific works of architecture.

To promote an auction of 20th- and 21st-century design, the interior designer Stephen Sills has created a preview exhibition in an apartment at the Apthorp.

Fishs Eddy now sells plates acquired from the archives of the now-defunct Syracuse China Corporation, many more than 100 years old.

The designer Russell Greenberg creates custom baby rattles with ends shaped like profiles of mom and dad.